Tag Archives: Fangoria

Ban the Monster Mags! Villagers at the gate…

I recently read a post on a horror-themed forum on the internet by a fellow who was complaining about the “whorish looking women” in a monster magazine and how he felt he should hide it from his kids. He’d rather the magazine didn’t print things like that because he doesn’t like to feel he has to hide the mag as if it were porn.

Whorish looking women. For crying out loud! That’s exactly what my mother said about Hammer Films! You know, those classic horror films we all (except for Tom Weaver) know and love? Do you hear yourselves? Not all of you, of course, but man! Some of you are carrying on like these mags are printing the Communist Manifesto and sneaking around trying to get your kids to not only buy them, but join the Party!

Didn’t we go through this with comic books back in the 50s/60s?

Congratulations to all those who find coverage of horror films to be bad for the children. Congratulations to all of you who don’t want your children to read monster mags because they’re too bloody/gory/sexy/nasty in your opinions. Congratulations for desiring censorship for the children. You have effectively become members of the Establishment that we (well, we being a lot of us but not all of us, obviously) fought against in the 60s and 70s. What are you gonna do next? Demand the burning of all the monster mags you don’t like so no one can read them?

Me? Over reacting? No. I don’t think so.

See, this is how it starts. One parent thinks the gore in say, Fangoria, is too much, so they don’t let it in the house. Then they learn that other mothers and fathers have done the same. So they form a group. And then they begin to write to parents they don’t know. And then those parents join the group. And then people with no kids who just don’t like gore flicks get into the group. Pretty soon you have a few hundred, maybe a few thousand people who are calling for the banning of Fangoria, and getting all angry and heated about it and bellowing “What about the children?” Pretty much screwing it up for the majority because they’re voices are louder than those of us who are busy sitting around reading our magazines and letting people live and let live. Well, I’ve never been known for keeping my mouth shut.

What about the children? I’ve printed this before. If you don’t know what to do with them you have no business having them. Teach them you dim wits. Let them learn from you and then as they grow, permit them to make their own choices. If they read a couple of issues of Fango – or whatever – one of two things will happen. They’ll enjoy it, and know it for what it is – a magazine about make believe — or — they won’t find it interesting and move on to something else. Don’t sell your kids short here. They’re no doubt an intelligent and curious lot. Most kids are. Protect them too much and you’ll wind up with a generation of mal-adjusted, socially inept and cringing adults.

Oh, wait! We’re already there, aren’t we.

We have, here in the States, a culture that has produced a generation of obese kids that sit around all day – in the house – playing video games. Again, not all of them by any means, but enough that childhood obesity has reached high enough levels that it’s being called a health crisis. When these kids aren’t playing games, they and their thinner counterparts, interact socially not in person, at parties or dances or hike or in the Scouts (boy or girl) but on Facebook, MySpace, FaceSpace, MyBook – name it. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of places out there. They hang out watching YouTube and think it’s great entertainment. Take these kids out and put them in a restaurant or a park and they don’t know what to do. If they can’t type it, they don’t know how to react. Look someone in the eye? Not a chance.

But again, I digress.

I am appalled to find fellow monster movie fans calling for the banning, wrapping and otherwise destroying of monster magazines because their children might see them. Things have come to a sorry pass, and no mistake. Yep, next thing we hear, someone will be bellowing that Brad Linaweaver is a Republican. Or that Arbogast can’t post on the internet anymore.

That’ll be a dark day.